Let's Try This Again: Chapter 1 – The Wandering Child

Reading over what I wrote, while there were some cool images, I wasn't really happy with it. I mean, what great pieces off literature start of describing the weather anyway? Not to say that what I'm writing is to be considered any great piece of literature but ... hopefully you know what I mean. I wanted something that drew in readers, including myself, more quickly. Here is my second attempt and I like it much better and I hope you do too.

Chapter 1 – The Wandering Child

Queen Elfleda gazed out the window at the almost torrential downpour, her arms crossed and chewing on the corner of her bottom lip. Restlessly, she moved from sitting to pacing, back to forced stillness and again back to needed movement. Sometimes her gaze would flicker from the window to the staircase at the bottom of which was the still closed door but would always return to the glass pane separating her from the elements.

“Milka, how are the boys?” the queen asked of a plump woman who was passing.

Curtsying, Milka answered, "The young masters are sound asleep, milady, except for master Oliver, master Clement, and master Cyril who are with Honorius in the library."