Screwtape Letters ... Sheegog Edition

In one of the classes I teach, my students read The Screwtape Letters and, as an assignment, had to write a letter from Screwtape to Wormwood as if they were "the patient." And it struck me, why don't I do the same? So, my faithful readers, here is my first complete story in a while. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

My dear Wormwood,

Why is it that you did not tell me that you had been assigned a new patient? I have had to forcefully persuade Galldrip in Distribution to give up this delicious news of yours. Do not think that simply because I advocated that your punishments be extended after your incredible failure the last time that I would be any less interested in your acquiring a new assignment. Quite to the contrary, I desire to be even more invested in your attempts since you obviously did not seem to heed my advice previously. Perhaps this time it will be different. I hope for your sake, nephew, that it is.

From what Galldrip has told me of your patient, you seem to have your work cut out for you. Having been raised in the Enemy's camp, she will be unassailable by some of the techniques used on your previous patient, not that you were any more successful with those. Furthermore, she comes form a stable, loving family who are also devoted to the Enemy thus placing another defense against attack. However, from what I have gathered in her dossier, she does have several promising areas that are much in your favour. Now pay attention, Wormwood, as I will try to explain everything in the most elementary terms so there can be no possibility of misunderstanding me.

First, we have a good hold in a well developed slothfulness that she has passed over as a mere bad habit of procrastination. When confronted with something she knows she has to do but does not want to do, she practically begs us to find her some kind of distraction. What makes this sin even more delicious is the fact that what she most often turns to is something she honestly enjoys but we have turned for our own purposes. Her love and enjoyment of stories can be taken to a numbness when keeping her from what she knows to do. Here you can get a taste of that exquisite flavour of a perverted pleasure where you promise satisfaction and give nothing in return. The internet can be a powerful tool when attempting to distract your patient. The ease of clicking from one page to another or passively allowing one video to play automatically to the next. With your patient, you should encourage feelings of distaste for her responsibility and desire to be distracted, ultimately leading to a day in which she accomplished nothing and has gotten very little pleasure from the hours spent watching something she would otherwise have enjoyed.

Before you make any protest at the ease and seemingly innocuous nature of this sin, let me make my second point. She has, with our help, a strong sense of guilt and shame over not being the person she thinks she ought to be. Remember to not let her realize that her standards and image of her ideal self are unreasonable and largely unattainable. By strengthening the thought that this ideal can and must be met, you not only deepen her own sense of self-condemnation for not having reached them but also further separate her from those who love her for who she is because they see the various facades she wears so as to appear as her ideal for them and are distressed by her drawing further away from her natural self. On her side, she will feel more and more isolated by her mistaken belief that her inability to attain her ideal is causing the distance she feels when it is the mere fact that she is trying to be something she is not that is the real root of the issue. And your pursuit of greater shame and guilt is reinforced by her self-made isolation. Hopefully, you can see where this is leading, though I highly doubt it. By first encouraging her slothfulness and then attacking with her shame and guilt over not being her responsible ideal, you create a most refreshing cocktail of despair and self-loathing with undertones of anger.

However, you must work this very carefully. While you may see this as a very simple matter of encouraging what is already there, you must understand the delicate nature of the situation in which you are working. What you must remember, and keep your patient from remembering, is that the Enemy is always nearby to prompt the patient to resist your distractions and accomplish what is needed of her so she may then enjoy her pleasures without any guilt. Especially because of her time in the Enemy's camp, His commands are embedded into her mind which, while it makes excellent fodder for guilt, therefore means that she cannot be made to fully forget them. He will remind her of these commands, but you must pounce upon every suggestion that He gives before they have any time to take root. Also, you will constantly have to be on your guard with every interaction since most of her social circle is among Christians, thus bringing her into further contact with the Enemy's influence. If you are not careful, you will quickly lose the ground given to you at the outset of your assignment.

Do try not to lose this one. You know the consequences should you fail to bring this soul to our Father Below.

Your affectionate uncle, Screwtape